My Three Most Important Writing Friends: Toni Michael

In thinking about my three most important writing friends, I am struck with how isolating writing really is. Writing is characterized by an essential dialectical tension: the need for solitude and the need for collaboration. With that in mind, my three most important writing friends are myself, my husband, and my professors and classmates at KSU. Because writing is such an autonomous vocation, I have come to the realization that I can be a friend or a foe to myself.
It is important for me to be a friend to myself before I can write anything down. I must do the psychological and emotional work of fighting back self-defeating thoughts that attempt to persuade me that writing is not productive work. I have to set aside time so that I can engage in reading and self-reflection. It is imperative for me to have daily times of solitude in which I can create space in my mind so that conscious and unconscious thoughts can process and synthesize what occurred the previous day and integrate the ideas and thoughts that I read. Then I must allow myself time to write. Through writing, I work on any number of ideas that manifest themselves in story form, ideas which I have to share with my husband.
Whether I am in the middle of processing a thought or I have just completed a piece, my husband, Greg, will listen to my sometimes lengthy pontifications or read my writing. He not only encourages me, but he will also point out any ideas or story problems that do not connect. Greg is a constant source of feedback; however, there are times when I have suspected that he looks at my writing through rose colored glasses, which is why I appreciate the professors and my classmates at KSU.
Even though the writing communities in the MAPW classes are a construct created by the professors of each class, I have found the insights, discussions, and perspectives of my professors and classmates to be invaluable. I am thankful for the opportunity to share my writing with my classmates and in turn have them share their writing with me. It allows me to see that I am not alone in the writing process; moreover, I learn and become better through their praise of my work and constructive criticism. While I would love an intimate writing circle with whom I could sit with for hours in cafes and discuss the deepest aspects of writing, I am thankful for my husband, my professors and classmates who listen to me, read what I write, and offer me constructive criticism.

My name is Toni and I am a wr...wr...writer. I can hardly say the word writer because of all the preconceived ideas that surround the vocation of writing. For example, if you are not on the New York Times Best seller list, you are worthless, or if you are not making any money, you really are not a writer. I am also a teacher, and I am haunted by the old saying, "Those who can't-- teach." It is almost as though, I need to go to a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous except this one would be for frightened writers. Because of these ideas regarding being a writer, until recently, I have, for the most part never openly acknowledged that I write.

However, in the summer of 2007 I participated in the Kennesaw Mountain Writing Project, which gave me the confidence to call myself a writer. Being in a community with other writers and teachers exposed me to the joy and the struggle of writing. Joy- because writers look at the world with a camera man’s eye. They see what others do not see. Struggle-because it takes time and work to articulate the visions that they are given. It takes discipline to daily sit down and write, regardless of how tired you are.

It is in the struggle that I am challenged. The duties and responsibilities of my life have bullied the writer in me into a corner. Procrastination has tied the writer in me to a chair in the corner, and fear has kept the writer in me stuck in the corner. I have decided that this summer I am going to come out of the corner, and dedicate daily time to my writing. Toward that end, I plan to begin by revising the short stories I wrote in Dr. Johnson’s class, Fiction Writing, and I am going to write.